This Could Happen To You!

This could happen to you: I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice from the other bathroom stall saying, “Hi, how are you?”…

Not Working

Got home from work today and there’s a note on the fridge from the wife. “It’s just not working, gone home to mothers”. I opened…

Impossibilities

IMPOSSIBILITIES IN THE WORLD 1. U can’t count your hair 2. U can’t wash your eyes with soap 3. U can’t breathe when your tongue…

Having a baby

Jimmy says to his boss, “Sir, I need tomorrow off. My wife is going to have a baby.” The boss gives him the day off….

Little Johnny Joke No. 2,463

Little Johnny heard the word “whorehouse” during recess and later asked his father what it meant. Dad was shocked. “Well, uh, John, that’s a place…

Irish ‘Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?’

Mick appeared on the Irish version of “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire” and towards the end of the program had already won $500,000. “You’ve…

Little Johhny

Little Jimmy is walking past his parents’ bedroom and the door is open. He looks in and says to them, “And you think you sent…

Presents

Last Christmas my wife gave me a new iPad. We gave the two boys an iPhone each and the two daughters an iPod each. I…

Lazy

A foreman had ten very lazy men working for him. One day he decided to trick them into doing some work for a change. “I’ve…

Expecting

A young private sought permission from his Commanding Officer to leave camp the following weekend. “You see,” he explained, “my wife’s expecting.” “Oh…” said the…