Archive

Archive of : January, 2012

Blond in church

An Alabama preacher said to his congregation, “Someone in this congregation has spread a rumor that I belong to the Ku Klux Klan. This is a horrible lie and one which a Christian community cannot tolerate. I am embarrassed and do not intend to accept this. Now, I want...

History of Medicine

2000 B.C. — Here, eat this root. 1000 A.D. — That root is heathen. Here, say this prayer. 1850 A.D. — That prayer is superstition. Here, drink this potion. 1940 A.D. — That potion is snake oil. Here, swallow this pill. 1985 A.D. — That pill is ineffective. Here,...

Heaven and hell

Heaven is where the police are British, the chefs are Italian, the mechanics are German, the lovers are French, and everything is organized by the Swiss. Hell is where the police are German, the chefs are British, the mechanics are French, the lovers are Swiss, and everything is organized...

Deaf sex

Two deaf people get married. During the first week of marriage, they find that they are unable to communicate in the bedroom when they turn off the lights. After several nights of fumbling around and misunderstandings, the wife proposes a solution. “Honey,” she signs, “Why don’t we agree on...

Kids

A man went to his rabbi and said, “I have fifteen children. Rabbi, what should I do?” The rabbi says, “Haven’t you done enough?”

Ring da bell

Passing an office building late one night, the blonde saw a sign that read, “Press bell for night watchman.” She did so, and after several minutes she heard the watchman clomping down the stairs. The uniformed men proceeded to unlock first one gate, then another, shut down the alarm...

Pay up!

Old Abraham was a poor tailor whose shop was next door to a very upscale French restaurant. Every day at lunch time, Abraham would go out the back of his shop and eat his black bread and herring while smelling the wonderful odors coming from the restaurant’s kitchen. One...

Old age

Two young men are speculating on how long they might live, and one says he thinks he has a long life ahead of him. “After all,” he says, “my grandfather lived to be 96.” “Ninety-six? What finally got him?” the other man asks. “Liquor and women.” “Well, that just...

Spookie

A man was walking at mid-night on the road adjacent to the graveyard. It was very dark. He was looking left and right and one could say that he was very nervous. He saw another man walking a little ahead of him and increased his pace so that he...

Babysitting & fishing don’t go together

A boy was taking care of his baby sister while his parents went to town shopping. He decided to go fishing so he took her with him. “I’ll never do that again!” he told his mother that evening. “I didn’t catch a thing!” “Oh, next time I’m sure she’ll...