A man walks into a bar and says, “Bartender, give me two shots. One for me and one for my best buddy.”
Bartender asks, “You want them both now or do you want me to wait until your buddy arrives to pour his?”
The guy says, “Oh, I want them both now. I've got my best buddy in my pocket here.”
He then pulls a little 3 inch man out of his pocket.
The bartender asks, “You mean to say, he can drink that much?”
“Oh, sure. He can drink it all and then some,” the man retorted.
So, the bartender pours the 2 shots and sure enough, the little guy drinks it all up.
“That's amazing!” says the bartender. “What else can he do? Can he walk?”
The man flicks a quarter down to the end of the bar and says, “Hey, Rodney, go fetch that quarter.” The little guy runs down to the end of the bar, picks up the quarter and runs back down and gives it to the man.
The bartender is in total shock. “That's amazing!” he says. “What else can he do? Does he talk?”
The man looks up at the bartender with a look of surprise in his eyes and says, “Talk? Sure he talks. Hey, Rodney, tell him about that time we were in down in Africa, on safari, hunting and you called that native witch doctor a dickhead!”