Condoms

A young man is buying some condoms. The cashier asks him, “Would you like a bag with those?” “No,” he replies, “she’s not that ugly.”

Bent genie

Walking along the beach, Dave tripped over a half-buried kerosene lantern. He rubbed its side and sure enough, a Genie materialized. “I can’t grant your…

Garbology

A father is asked by his friend, “Has your son decided what he wants to be when he grows up?” “Yes, he wants to be…

Shoes

A guy walks into a shoe store and asks for a pair of size 8 tie shoes. The salesman says, “But, sir, I can see…

Maid

When Abe returned home from work, his wife Ruth said, “So how was your day?” He replied, “I met an artist and I’ve never met…

Aussie Dyslexic Humor

After Daylight Savings Time ended, I stopped in to see my dyslexic friend. He was busy covering his penis with black shoe polish. I said…

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Dinner time

Howard came home from work one evening and there was his wife Miriam in the kitchen crying out loud. “What’s the matter, darling?” he asked…

Bath Time

The boy who had “made good” in town asked his old mother to come to London. He gave the old lady the best room in…

THE UNDERTAKER’S BLACK EYE

Roy, an undertaker, recently came home with a black eye. “What happened to you?” asked his wife. “I had a terrible day.” replied Roy ….

GREAT PUBS

Y’know” said the Scotsman,” I still prefer the pubs back home. In Glasgow there’s a little bar called McTavish’s. Now the landlord there goes out…