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Larry (Jenolan) Lewis

Coding is what defines me, especially when it doesn't… also.

Jenolan Caves

This is not Jenolan Caves, we use the Jenolan name because we love the Jenolan, Abercrombie, Wombeyan, & Yarrangobilly caves.

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Copyright © Larry Lewis 1973-2019 Jenolan's CESS. All Rights Reserved.

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    •  Jenolan

      It’s a beautiful warm spring day and a man and his wife are at the zoo. She’s wearing a cute, loose-fitting, pink spring dress, sleeveless with straps. As they walk through the ape exhibit and pass in front of a very large gorilla, the gorilla goes ape. He jumps up on the bars, holding on with one hand (and 2 feet), grunting and pounding his chest with the free hand. He is obviously excited at the pretty lady in the wavy dress.

      The husband, noticing the excitement, suggests that his wife tease the poor fellow. The husband suggests she pucker her lips, wiggle her bottom, and play along. She does and Mr. Gorilla gets even more excited, making noises that would wake the dead.

      Then the husband suggests that she let one of her straps fall, she does, and Mr. Gorilla is just about to tear the bars down.

      “Now try lifting your dress up your thighs”… this drives the gorilla absolutely crazy.

      Then, quickly the husband grabs his wife by the hair, rips open the door to the cage, slings her in with the gorilla and says, “Now, tell HIM you have a headache.”

  • 2011-04-25
    The Scavenger Hunt

    •  Jenolan

      A woman answered her front door and saw a little boy holding a list.

      “Ma’am,” he explained, “I’m on a scavenger hunt, and I still need three grains of wheat, a pork-chop bone and a piece of used carbon paper so I can earn a dollar.”

      “Wow,” the woman replied. “Who sent you on such a challenging hunt?”

      “My babysitter’s boyfriend.”

  • 2011-05-03
    Manual Virus

    •  Jenolan

      Dear Virus Recipient,

      You have just received an Elbonian virus. Since we are not so technologically advanced in Elbonia, this is a MANUAL virus.

      Please delete all the files on your hard disk yourself and then send this important message to everyone you know.

      Thank you very much for your collaboration.

      Manual Virus Bugfix

      Dear Virus Recipients,

      Since the below original version of our Manual Virus was a pre-alpha version, this is now the bug fix for Manual Virus:

      Please FIRST forward this virus to everyone you know, and THEN delete your own hard drive!

      Thank you for your kind collaborative cooperation.

  • 2011-05-06
    World's best Memory

    •  Jenolan

      Several years ago a man was taking a trip by train. The train pulls into a station, and the man leaves train to stretch his legs. He sees and old Indian in the corner with a sign above him saying “World’s Best Memory”. He walks over to him and asked the old Indian what he had for breakfast 20 years ago.

      The Indian said, “Eggs”.

      About then the train whistle blew and the man got back on the train.

      20 years had past and the man was back on the train taking another trip when it pulled into this station. He once again leaves train to stretch his legs and sees the old Indian still there. The man walks up to him and putting his right hand up and saying, “How?”

      The old Indian looks and him and says, “Scrambled”.

  • 2011-05-07
    BIG Trouble

    •  Jenolan

      A husband was in BIG trouble when he forgot his wedding anniversary.

      “Tomorrow,” his wife angrily told him, “there had better be something in our driveway that goes from zero to 200 in two seconds flat!”

      The next morning, the wife looked outside and saw a small package in the driveway. She brought it inside, opened it …. and found a brand new bathroom scale. Funeral services for her husband have been set for Saturday …