Year: 2012

Presents

Last Christmas my wife gave me a new iPad. We gave the two boys an iPhone each and the two daughters an iPod each. I…

Lazy

A foreman had ten very lazy men working for him. One day he decided to trick them into doing some work for a change. “I’ve…

Expecting

A young private sought permission from his Commanding Officer to leave camp the following weekend. “You see,” he explained, “my wife’s expecting.” “Oh…” said the…

Children

Question: Should I have a baby after 35? Answer: No, 35 children is enough.

Hearing Aid

A man realized he needed to purchase a hearing aid, but didn’t want to spend a lot of money. “How much do they cost?” he…

Repairs

Within two weeks of moving into a new house, the homeowner had to call an electrician, a roofer and a carpenter. One afternoon he returned…

Moving

A man was bumping over an excuse for a road in his four-wheel-drive, way out in the Australian outback, when he saw an Aborigine carrying…

Empty?

A man phones a mental hospital and asks the receptionist if there is anybody in Room 27. She goes and checks, and comes back to…

Wonderful mind

“Oh Gosh,” sighed the wife one morning, “I’m convinced my mind is almost completely gone!” Her husband looked up from the newspaper and commented, “I’m…

The Mother, Daughter Talk

The mother of a 17-year-old girl was concerned that her daughter was probably having sex. Worried the girl might become pregnant, and that this would…