Archive

Archive of : March, 2012

The Fairy

I met a fairy today who granted me one wish. “I want to live forever”

Yard Sale

A woman was taking her time browsing through a yard sale. She told the hostess, “My husband is in the car and he’s going to be angry that I stayed this long at your sale.” “Oh, I’m sure he’ll understand when he see the bargains you’ve found,” replied the...

Blonde Joke No. 169

A blonde bought a new car and took her brunette friend for a ride. Suddenly, another car pulled out right in front of them. The blonde bent down and put her lips to the steering wheel. “The frightened brunette yelled, “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” The...

Little Johnny

The kids filed back into class Monday morning.

Aussie Military Humor … or… Aussie Political Humor

A platoon of soldiers was marching north of Fallujah when they came upon an Iraqi terrorist, badly injured and unconscious. On the opposite side of the road was an Australian soldier in a similar but less serious state. The soldier was conscious and alert and as first aid was...

Don’t Accept A Ride…

A 12-year-old boy was walking down the street when a car pulled up beside him. “I’ll give you a bag of candy if you get in the car,” said the driver. “No way,” replied the boy. “How about a bag of candy and ten dollars?” asked the driver. “No...

At The Cemetery

Three Irishmen — Paddy, Sean and Seamus — were stumbling home from the pub late one night and found themselves on the road which led past the old graveyard. “Come have a look over here,” says Paddy. “It’s Michael O’Grady’s grave, God bless his soul. He lived to the...

Hunting Wabbits …er … Rabbits

Paddy went rabbit hunting with the village pastor. Paddy watched with fascination as the pastor held his finger over a rabbit hole and soon, out popped a rabbit. The pastor grabbed it and put it in his sack. He repeated this weird but successful technique until his sack was...

Timing

A professional photographer, at a friend’s house for dinner, was asked to show his portfolio from a recent overseas trip. His friends were quite impressed. “What wonderful photos!” said the host’s wife. “You must have a very expensive camera.” The photographer just smiled and waited until after dinner, when...

In The Family Way

Consuelo, a Mexican maid in Orange County, California, announced to her boss, Mrs. Blanco, that she was quitting. When Mrs. Blanco asked why, Consuelo replied, “I’m in the family way.” Mrs. Blanco was totally surprised and shocked, and asked who the father could be. “Your husband and your son,”...