Judge: The last time I saw you in the court, I told you that I never ever wanted you to come here again.
Accused: That's what I told the police your honor, but they didn't listen to me.
Where reality is relative
A person is smart, people are stupid
Just because I disagree with you, does not mean I hate you. We need to relearn that in society.
So dumb he can’t fart and chew gum at the same time — Lyndon Johnson, on Ford
He is all of them. And he is one of us.
Questions are easy, it is the answers that are hard
Code is poetry
ASAP means As Soon As Possible, not Right &#^ing Now!
I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I’m going to blame you.
The grass is ALWAYS greener on the other side of the fence, but there is also always cow shit in the grass somewhere
Nobody notices what I do until I don’t do it
For all that they did, and for all they were never able to do, we remember. Lest We Forget
A person is smart, people are stupid. — Agent K
If it’s a good idea, go ahead and do it. It is much easier to apologize than it is to get permission — Grace Hopper
We have met the enemy, and he is us.
We are so creative that when we have no problems, we invent them. — Augusto Cury
Dumb as a bucket of rocks
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is — Jan L. A. van de Snepscheut
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one? — Abraham Lincoln
Could’a, would’a, should’a … that’s me
Quantity has a quality all of its own — Joseph Stalin
One of these days I’m gunna climb that mountain
They can’t even. They lose all ability to can.
Perseverance, the secret of all triumphs — Victor Hugo
In the end, you only regret the chances you didn’t take.
The greatest enemy of knowledge is not ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge — Stephen Hawking #RIP
You can never have enough of too much
Poor planning on your part does not necessitate an emergency on mine. — Bob Carter;
Should I shut up now?
There are two ways to write error-free programs; only the third works — Alan J. Perlis
« A life is like a garden. Perfect moments can be had, but not preserved, except in memory. LLAP — Leonard Nimoy aka Spock »
Society has become so fake that the truth actually bothers people.
Working on it …
In computer science, there are only two hard problems: cache invalidation, naming things, and off-by-one errors.
Judge: The last time I saw you in the court, I told you that I never ever wanted you to come here again.
Accused: That's what I told the police your honor, but they didn't listen to me.
I suppose that the Honourable Gentleman’s hair, like his intellect, will recede into the darkness.Paul Keating
Mr Speaker can I have some protection from the clowns on the front bench?Paul Keating
He is lofty, and I am eminent.Gough Whitlam
He’s the greatest L plater of all time.Paul Keating
We’re not interested in the views of painted, perfumed gigolos.Paul Keating
(His performance) is like being flogged with a warm lettuce.Paul Keating
Maintain your rage and enthusiasm for the campaign for the election now to be held and until polling day.Gough Whitlam
That you Jim? Paul Keating here. Just because you swallowed a fucking dictionary when you were about 15 doesn’t give you the right to pour a bucket of shit over the rest of us.Paul Keating
Two things are infinite—the universe and human stupidity; and I am not sure about the universe.Albert Einstein
What we have got is a dead carcass, swinging in the breeze, but nobody will cut it down to replace him.Paul Keating
Those opposite could not operate a tart shopPaul Keating
It’s worth remembering that it is often the small steps, not giant leaps, that bring about the most lasting change.Queen Elizabeth II, 1926-2022.
The little desiccated coconut is under pressure and he is attacking anything he can get his hands onPaul Keating
The accounts do show that Australia is in a recession. The most important thing about that is, is that this is the recession that Australia had to have.Paul Keating
APEC is bigger than all of us – Australia, the U.S. and Malaysia and Dr. Mahathir and any other recalcitrants.Paul Keating
Let me make quite clear that I am for abortion and, in your case Sir, we should make it retrospective.Gough Whitlam
Well may we say ‘God save the Queen’, because nothing will save the Governor-General! The Proclamation which you have just heard read by the Governor-General’s Official Secretary was countersigned Malcolm Fraser, who will undoubtedly go down in Australian history from Remembrance Day 1975 as Kerr’s cur.Gough Whitlam
I’ve never said I’m immortal. I do believe in correct language. I’m eternal; I’m not immortal.Gough Whitlam
The Honorable Member has been in so many parties he is a complete political harlot.Paul Keating
I was profoundly embarrassed by it and did all I could to change it.Gough Whitlam
When government makes opportunities for any of the citizens, it makes them for all the citizens. We are all diminished as citizens when any of us are poor. Poverty is a national waste as well as individual waste. We are all diminished when any of us are denied proper education. The nation is the poorer – a poorer economy, a poorer civilisation, because of this human and national waste.Gough Whitlam
Can a soufflé rise twice?Paul Keating
The more I learn about people, the more I like my dog
My great objective as a parliamentarian was to dramatise the deficiencies and devise practical government programs to deal with them. It was a cause that went to the heart of our way of life.Gough Whitlam
You boxhead you wouldn’t know. You are flat out counting past ten.Paul Keating
You had an important place in Australian society on the ABC and you gave it up to be a pop star…with a big cheque…and now you’re on to this sort of stuff. That shows what a 24 carat pissant you are, Richard, that’s for sure.Paul Keating
I have more influence now than when I had the powerGough Whitlam
I was nearly chloroformed by the performance of the Honorable Member for Mackellar. It nearly put me right out for the afternoon.Paul Keating
Soon we will be at the stage where he will be offering us a free set of steak knives.Paul Keating
The thing about poor old Costello is he is all tip and no iceberg.Paul Keating
The punters know that the horse named Morality rarely gets past the post, whereas the nag named Self-interest always runs a good race.Gough Whitlam
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