Picture England, it's the early evening on a regular muggy day, a light drizzle splashes on the street. A drunkard leans on the gate in front of his house, looking across the street at a dashing young man talking to ladies as they stroll by his home.

Sometimes the young man takes the lady upstairs and comes back down smiling with her, other times she becomes offended, he says something else and she smiles and nods understandingly. Eventually the drunkard gets curious and crosses the street to ask him what's going on.

“Hello sir, now what's going on right here?” he asks.

The young man smiles and says, “Yes, I saw you watching. Well, whenever a lovely young bird comes by, I say to her, ‘tickle your a** with a feather?' If she agrees we go upstairs and have some fun. Now if she is offended, I say to her, ‘typical nasty weather.' She assumes she has misheard and goes about her business.”

Thinking this is brilliant the drunkard goes home to try it out. A voluptuous woman comes by and he leans in and says to her, “Oi, can I stick a feather up yer ass?”

Startled she cries, “What!?”

He smiles and says, “Bloody rain!”