He: If you give me your number, I could call you sometime.
She: It's in the book.
He: Great! What's your name?
She: That's in the book, too.
Where reality is relative
We have met the enemy, and he is us.
Questions are easy, it is the answers that are hard
They can’t even. They lose all ability to can.
ASAP means As Soon As Possible, not Right &#^ing Now!
The grass is ALWAYS greener on the other side of the fence, but there is also always cow shit in the grass somewhere
Could’a, would’a, should’a … that’s me
Just because I disagree with you, does not mean I hate you. We need to relearn that in society.
He is all of them. And he is one of us.
A person is smart, people are stupid
For all that they did, and for all they were never able to do, we remember. Lest We Forget
Working on it …
If it’s a good idea, go ahead and do it. It is much easier to apologize than it is to get permission — Grace Hopper
The greatest enemy of knowledge is not ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge — Stephen Hawking #RIP
Should I shut up now?
So dumb he can’t fart and chew gum at the same time — Lyndon Johnson, on Ford
Poor planning on your part does not necessitate an emergency on mine. — Bob Carter;
« A life is like a garden. Perfect moments can be had, but not preserved, except in memory. LLAP — Leonard Nimoy aka Spock »
A person is smart, people are stupid. — Agent K
Society has become so fake that the truth actually bothers people.
You can never have enough of too much
Code is poetry
Nobody notices what I do until I don’t do it
Perseverance, the secret of all triumphs — Victor Hugo
Quantity has a quality all of its own — Joseph Stalin
I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I’m going to blame you.
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is — Jan L. A. van de Snepscheut
Dumb as a bucket of rocks
In the end, you only regret the chances you didn’t take.
There are two ways to write error-free programs; only the third works — Alan J. Perlis
We are so creative that when we have no problems, we invent them. — Augusto Cury
In computer science, there are only two hard problems: cache invalidation, naming things, and off-by-one errors.
One of these days I’m gunna climb that mountain
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one? — Abraham Lincoln
He: If you give me your number, I could call you sometime.
She: It's in the book.
He: Great! What's your name?
She: That's in the book, too.
We’re not interested in the views of painted, perfumed gigolos.Paul Keating
You had an important place in Australian society on the ABC and you gave it up to be a pop star…with a big cheque…and now you’re on to this sort of stuff. That shows what a 24 carat pissant you are, Richard, that’s for sure.Paul Keating
The punters know that the horse named Morality rarely gets past the post, whereas the nag named Self-interest always runs a good race.Gough Whitlam
He’s the greatest L plater of all time.Paul Keating
I was nearly chloroformed by the performance of the Honorable Member for Mackellar. It nearly put me right out for the afternoon.Paul Keating
I have more influence now than when I had the powerGough Whitlam
He is lofty, and I am eminent.Gough Whitlam
Maintain your rage and enthusiasm for the campaign for the election now to be held and until polling day.Gough Whitlam
The thing about poor old Costello is he is all tip and no iceberg.Paul Keating
Mr Speaker can I have some protection from the clowns on the front bench?Paul Keating
What we have got is a dead carcass, swinging in the breeze, but nobody will cut it down to replace him.Paul Keating
The Honorable Member has been in so many parties he is a complete political harlot.Paul Keating
The little desiccated coconut is under pressure and he is attacking anything he can get his hands onPaul Keating
Can a soufflé rise twice?Paul Keating
You boxhead you wouldn’t know. You are flat out counting past ten.Paul Keating
It’s worth remembering that it is often the small steps, not giant leaps, that bring about the most lasting change.Queen Elizabeth II, 1926-2022.
I’ve never said I’m immortal. I do believe in correct language. I’m eternal; I’m not immortal.Gough Whitlam
I was profoundly embarrassed by it and did all I could to change it.Gough Whitlam
Soon we will be at the stage where he will be offering us a free set of steak knives.Paul Keating
My great objective as a parliamentarian was to dramatise the deficiencies and devise practical government programs to deal with them. It was a cause that went to the heart of our way of life.Gough Whitlam
The more I learn about people, the more I like my dog
Well may we say ‘God save the Queen’, because nothing will save the Governor-General! The Proclamation which you have just heard read by the Governor-General’s Official Secretary was countersigned Malcolm Fraser, who will undoubtedly go down in Australian history from Remembrance Day 1975 as Kerr’s cur.Gough Whitlam
Those opposite could not operate a tart shopPaul Keating
The accounts do show that Australia is in a recession. The most important thing about that is, is that this is the recession that Australia had to have.Paul Keating
APEC is bigger than all of us – Australia, the U.S. and Malaysia and Dr. Mahathir and any other recalcitrants.Paul Keating
(His performance) is like being flogged with a warm lettuce.Paul Keating
When government makes opportunities for any of the citizens, it makes them for all the citizens. We are all diminished as citizens when any of us are poor. Poverty is a national waste as well as individual waste. We are all diminished when any of us are denied proper education. The nation is the poorer – a poorer economy, a poorer civilisation, because of this human and national waste.Gough Whitlam
That you Jim? Paul Keating here. Just because you swallowed a fucking dictionary when you were about 15 doesn’t give you the right to pour a bucket of shit over the rest of us.Paul Keating
Let me make quite clear that I am for abortion and, in your case Sir, we should make it retrospective.Gough Whitlam
Two things are infinite—the universe and human stupidity; and I am not sure about the universe.Albert Einstein
I suppose that the Honourable Gentleman’s hair, like his intellect, will recede into the darkness.Paul Keating
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