Dead

One hot summer afternoon, a man is watching a ball game on TV while his wife is out cutting the grass.

Between innings, he goes out to ask her what is for supper. The woman flares with anger at the thought of him sitting in the air conditioned house all day with a cool drink in his hand, and she snaps, “Think of me as dead and do what you would do if I were.”

The man goes back into the house and fixes a big steak, a baked potato and a tall glass of iced tea.

About the time he is ready to sit down, she walks in and asks, “So you fixed something to eat? Where's mine?”

Her husband looks at her blankly: “I thought you were dead.”