Archive

Archive of : July, 2011

Lawyers playing poker

A bunch of lawyers were sitting around the office playing poker. “I win!” said Johnson, at which point Henderson threw down his cards. “That’s it! I’ve had it! Johnson is cheating!!!” “How can you tell?” Phillips asked.“Those aren’t the cards I dealt him!”

What’s new?

A teacher and his wife were sitting at the dinner table when the wife asked, “Anything new at work?” “No,” he replied. “I teach history, remember?”

SUV

Two old guys talking. One said to the other: “My 65th birthday yesterday. Wife gave me an SUV”. Other guy: “Wow, that’s amazing! Imagine, an SUV! What a great gift!” First guy: “Yup. Socks, Underwear and Viagra!”

Thumb sucking?

A little girl brought a friend home after school one day. She and her friend stopped at her moms door to let her know they were home. As she opened her parents bedroom door, she looked shocked… Turned to her friend and said, “And these people used to beat...

Cougar Chat

Two thirty-something women were having lunch together and discussing the merits of cosmetic surgery. The first woman said, “I need to be honest with you, I’m getting a boob-job.” “Oh, that’s nothing,” responded her friend. “I’m thinking of having my arsehole bleached.” “Whoa!” replied the first woman. “I just...

Decisions

A married couple was celebrating their 60th wedding anniversary. At the party everybody wanted to know how they managed to stay married so long in this day and age. The husband responded, “When we were first married we came to an agreement. I would make all the major decisions...

Rome

A woman was at her hairdresser’s getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded: “Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It’s crowded and dirty. You’re crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you...

Mother-in-law

Two friends are talking in a bar. “My Mother-In-Law died yesterday!” said the first. “Sorry to hear that,” replied his friend. “How did she die?” “Well. She sat down in the chair, put her feet up, laid back closed her eyes, and that was it.” “Hmmm. Suppose it’s a...

Anything

A pretty young college student visited her professor’s office after class. She glanced down the hall, closed his door and knelt down before him. “I would do anything to pass this exam,” she said. Leaning closer, she whispered seductively, “I mean, I would do anything.” He looked down at...

Professional courtesy

A policeman sends his wife and kid to a resort for a vacation. After a week he joined them in the hotel. As soon as he came to the hotel room he wanted to make love to his wife and gave her “the look”. Whispering under her breath, the...