Archive

Archive of : June, 2011

Damned moths

A woman was having a passionate affair with an inspector from a pest-control company. One afternoon they were carrying on in the bedroom together when her husband arrived home unexpectedly. “Quick,” said the woman to the lover,”into the closet,” and she pushed him in the closet, stark naked. The...

The pickle slicer

A man comes home from working at a pickle factory and he seems troubled. His wife asks him what’s wrong and the man says, “Oh, nothing. I just… well… recently I’ve had an uncontrollable urge to put my penis in the pickle slicer.” His wife nearly faints, then she...

Breeding’s everything

A woman from Chicago attended a party in New York where the hostess was determined to make her mid-west guest feel cheap and unimportant. “My dear,” said the New York matron snobbishly, “here in the east we think breeding is everything.” “Oh I don’t know.” said the Chicago woman....

The lawyers dog

A lawyer’s dog, running about unleashed, beelines for a butcher shop and steals a roast. Butcher goes to lawyer’s office and asks, “If a dog running unleashed steals a piece of meat from my store, do I have a right to demand payment for the meat from the dog’s...

The diploma

A grandmother was pushing her little grandchild around Wal-Mart in a

Loving Grandfather

A woman in a supermarket is following a grandfather and his badly behaved 3 year-old grandson. It’s obvious to her that he has his hands full with the child screaming for sweets in the sweet aisle, biscuits in the biscuit aisle; and for fruit, cereal and pop in the...

Mowing the lawn

When our lawn mower broke and wouldn’t run, my wife kept hinting to me

Possibly The Best True Drunk-Driving Story Ever

A man goes to party and has too much to drink. His friends plead with him to let them drive him home. He says ‘NO”, he only lives a mile away. About five blocks from the party, the police pull him over. They check his license and ask him...

Water … WATER

A small boy is sent to bed by his mother… “Mom…” “What?” “I’m thirsty. Can you bring me a glass of water?” “No. You had your chance. Lights out.” “Mom…” “WHAT?” “I’m THIRSTY…Can I have a glass of water??” “I told you NO!...

Fathers & Sons

Three boys were heading home from school one day when one started the time-honored game of paternal one-upmanship. He said, “My dad’s way faster than either of yours, he can throw a