Archive

Archive of : October, 2010

Arrival

As the graveside service finished, there was a distant lightning bolt, followed by a tremendous burst of thunder that rumbled for quite a while. A small old man looked at the pastor and calmly said, “Well, she’s there!”

Complaints

A guy joins a monastery and takes a vow of silence: he’s allowed to say two words every seven years. After the first seven years, the elders bring him in and ask for his two words. “Cold floors,” he says. They nod and send him away. Seven more years...

Greenies Revenge

The chief woman ‘Greenie Tree-Hugging Activist’, who was responsible for getting horses banned from National parks and State forests,  was climbing a tree to have a look out over the forest when a Tawny Frogmouth Owl attacked her for invading its nesting site. In a panic to escape, she...

How To Lose A Wife

My wife asked me to cut back on expenses, so I gave up drinking beer. I wasn’t a big drinker anyway. Then I found a receipt for $45 for makeup. “Wait a minute!” I said to my wife. “I gave up beer; you haven’t given up anything!” “I buy...

God Grants A Wish

A man was riding his Harley beside a Sydney, Australia, beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and in a booming voice, The Lord said. “Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.” The biker pulled over,...

On The Farm

A little  boy comes down to breakfast. Since they live on a farm, his mother asks if he  had done his chores. “Not yet,” said the little boy. His mother  tells him no breakfast until he does his chores. Well, he’s a little  ticked off, so he goes to...

The Seven-Ten Cap

A blonde lady goes into an auto parts store and asks for a seven-ten cap. All the clerks look at each other, and one says, “What’s a seven-ten cap?” She says, “You know, it’s right on the engine. Mine got lost and some how and I need a new...

Greek V’s Irish

A Greek and an Irishman were sitting in a Starbuck’s cafe one day discussing who had the superior culture. Over triple lattes the Greek guy says, ‘Well, we Greeks built the Parthenon,’ arching his eyebrows. The Irishman then replies, ‘Well… it was the Irish that discovered the Summer and...

Grumpy

The seven  dwarfs go to the Vatican , and because  they are the Seven Dwarfs, they are immediately ushered in to see the Pope. Grumpy leads the pack. “Grumpy, my son,” says the Pope, “What can I do for you?” Grumpy asks,  “Excuse me your Excellency, but are there...

Aussie Humor

Sitting together on a train traveling through the Swiss Alps were a Kiwi guy, an Aussie bloke, a little old Greek lady, and a young, blonde Swiss woman with large breasts. The train goes into a dark tunnel and a few seconds later the sound of loud slap. When...