Archive

Archive of : August, 2010

Your duck is dead

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird’s chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, “I’m sorry, your duck, Cuddles,...

Truth will out

Rachel, Clare and Samantha haven’t seen each other

IQ Test

I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

Missing Husband

A wife went to the police station to report her missing husband and took along her next-door neighbor for moral support. When asked for his description, she told the officer, “He’s 35 years old, 6 foot 4, weighs 185 pounds, has blue eyes, blond wavy hair, an athletic build,...

Math-o-matics

An owner of a golf course in Mississippi was confused about paying an invoice. So, he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help. He called her into his office and said, “You graduated from the University of Mississippi, and I need some help. “If I were to...

Gotta Love Those Drunk People

A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push. “Not a chance,” says the husband, “it is 3:00...

WinXP Of Mordor

Recently one of my friends, a computer wizard, paid me a visit. As we were talking I mentioned that I had recently installed Windows XP on my PC. I told him how happy I was with this operating system and showed him the Windows XP CD. To my surprise...

Passport Application

A blonde from Arkansas is going on her first overseas trip. She drives all the way into Little Rock to apply for a passport. In the passport office, the government official sees that she is visibly puzzled filling her passport application. The passport official looks over her shoulder and...

Smart Arses!

Two businessmen in Cardiff were sitting down for a break in their soon-to-be new shop. As yet, the shop wasn’t ready, with only a few shelves set up. One of the men said to the other, “I bet any minute now some pensioner is going to walk by, put...

A Lesson In Business Management

Johnny want to have sex with a girl in his office, but she belonged to someone else. One day, Johnny got so frustrated that he went up to her and said, “I’ll give you $100 if you let me screw you.” But the girl said, “NO”. Johnny said, “Ill...