Archive

Archive of : July, 2010

Blonde Joke No. 597

A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blond female neighbour came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut & stormed back in the house. A little later she came out of her house again...

Still Unbeaten

The sergeant-major had the reputation of never being at a loss for an answer. A young officer made a bet with a brother officer that he would in less than twenty-four hours ask the sergeant-major a question that would baffle him. The sergeant-major accompanied the young officer on his...

A fellow in a bar notices a woman…

A fellow in a bar notices a woman, always alone, who comes in on a fairly regular basis. After the second week, he made his move. “No thank you,” she said politely.” “This may sound rather odd in this day and age, but I’m keeping myself pure until I...

The Jokes

Please realise that I collect things I think are funny to put here, some of them are pretty noorty, some are a bit ‘ahem’ politically incorrect — but trust me disgusting stuff aint on the agenda. Personally I prefer jokes that you have to think about a little or...

Perception

An elderly couple was in church when the wife leaned over and whispered to her husband, “I just cut a silent fart. What should I do?” He replied, “Replace your hearing aid battery!”

The Black Bra

I had lunch with 2 of my unmarried friends. One is engaged, one is a mistress and, of course, I have been married for 20+ years. We were chatting about our relationships and decided to amaze our men by wearing a black leather bra, stiletto heels and a mask...

World food shortage

The only question asked was:- “Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?” The survey was a huge failure because of the following: In Eastern Europe they didn’t know what “honest” meant. In Western Europe they didn’t know...

The wife, the wasp, and the doctor

A husband and wife are on a nudist beach when suddenly a wasp buzzes into the wife’s private part. Naturally enough, she panics. The husband is also quite shaken but manages to put a coat on her, pull up his shorts and carries her to the car. Then he...

How Deaf?

A man is talking to the family doctor. “Doc, I think my wife’s going deaf.” The doctor answers, “Well, here’s something you can try on her to test her hearing. Stand some distance away from her and ask her a question. If she doesn’t answer, move a little closer...

Shopping

A few years ago, I was with my parents grocery shopping. My mom told my dad to “go and pick up anything he wants”. Without a word, he picked up my mom.