Archive

Archive of : April, 2012

Exercise For Seniors

Brothel quickie

“I’m 90 years old,” he says. “90!” replies the woman. “Don’t you realize you’ve had it?” “Oh, sorry,” says the old man, “how much do I owe you?”]]>

Train exhibitionist

The men, charmed by this young girl, all pull a buck out of their wallet. And then the girl pulls up her dress a bit to show her legs. Then she says, “If each of you gentlemen will give me $10.00, I’ll show you my thighs.” And men being...

Cheap booze

The old bartender says in a voice that carries across the room, “Come on in and let me pour one for you! What’ll it be, gentlemen?” There’s a fully stocked bar, so each of the men orders a martini. In no time the bartender serves up four iced martinis—shaken,...

Horses

A neighbor suggested that she cut off the tail of one horse, which worked great until the other horse got his tail caught in a bush. The second horse’s tail tore in the same place and looked exactly like the other horse’s tail. Our blonde friend was stuck again....

Smart dog

The Doctor

“Do you mean to say,” exclaimed Cindy, “that the bum asked you to give back the ring and all his presents?” “Not only that,” said Carol, “he sent me a bill for 37 visits.”]]>

Three wishes (another)

“Excuse me,” says the guy next to him. “I don’t mean to be rude, but I noticed you have an extremely small head. Is that a birth defect?” The old man says, “No my ship was torpedoed by the Germans in World War II. I was the only survivor,...

Gas

Finishing the meter check, the senior supervisor challenged his younger coworker to a foot race down the alley back to the truck to prove that an older guy could outrun a younger one. As they came running up to the truck, they realized the lady from that last house...

Kite

He shouts back, “Make up your mind! Last night you told me to go fly a kite.”]]>