Archive

Archive of : February, 2012

A Generous Scot

The Laird and his Good wife walked past a swanky new restaurant last night. “Did you smell that food?” she asked. “Incredible!” Being the good Scot that he was, he thought, “What the heck, I’ll treat her!” So they walked past the restaurant again.]]>

The Good Samaritan

Just as she was about to storm out of the house, her husband called out, “Perhaps you should hear how all this came about… “I was driving home on the highway when I saw this young woman looking tired and bedraggled. I brought her home and made her a...

Golf Club Membership Application

So he applied for membership at a local golf club. About a week later he received a letter that his application has been rejected. So he went to the club to inquire as to why: Secretary: You are aware that this is a Scottish golf club? Scot: Aye, but...

Homework

No one answered until little Mary stood up and said, “You should not be asking sixth-graders a question like that! I’m going to tell my parents, and they will go and tell the principal, who will then fire you!” Mrs. Parks ignored her and asked the question again, “Which...

Silent Parrot

The vet tells him that the parrot’s beak is too long which is preventing him from speaking. He says that he can file it down for $100. The parrot’s owner thought that was rather expensive and wondered aloud if he could just file it down himself. The vet tells...

Efficiency Expert

“Why?” asked somebody from the audience. “I watched my wife’s routine at dinner for years,” the expert explained. “She made lots of trips between the refrigerator, stove, table and cabinets, often carrying a single item at a time. One day I told her, “Honey, why don’t you try carrying...

Checking petrol with a match

“What would happen if I threw a lit match into the hole?” John said as a joke. “It would go out,” the co-worker replied in a very factual manner. “Really?” John asked, surprised to hear that. “Is there a lack of oxygen down there or some safety device that...

Rubbers

Being the responsible type, the boy went to the Pharmacy to purchase protection. The pharmacist was very helpful and guided the boy for about an hour and told him everything there was to know. The boy came early to pick his girlfriend, and her Mother invited him to join...

Coffee Viagra

Noorty Professor

The professor, however, got wind of their scheme just before class the following day, so he bided his time. Then, halfway through the lecture, he began.”They say there is quite a shortage of prostitutes in France.” The girls looked at one another, arose and started for the door. “Young...