Archive

Archive of : October, 2011

Why Men Shouldn’t Argue With Women

The bride wanted three, while the husband said two was enough. They discussed it for a long time until the husband decided to put an end to things. “It’s simple,” he said with finality. “After our second child, I’ll have a vasectomy.” Without hesitation, his bride replied, “Then I...

At The Pearly Gates

“We have a lot of Walter Smiths here,” said St. Peter, “which one is yours?” “My Walter is bald with blue eyes and he said that if I ever slept with another man, he’d turn over in his grave,” said the woman. St. Peter motioned to a nearby angel....

Paddy

Two Irishmen walk into a pet shop in Dingle, they walk over to the bird section and Gerry says to Paddy, ‘Dat’s dem.’ The owner comes over and asks if he can help them. ‘Yeah, we’ll take four of dem dere little budgies in dat cage up dere,’ says...

The Hired Hand

She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house than the drunk. He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and...

The Magician

A magician worked on a cruise ship. The audience was different each week so the magician did the same tricks over and over again. There was only one problem: The captain’s parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the Magician did every trick. Once he...

The Truck Stop

The brand new blonde waitress, not wanting to appear stupid, went to the kitchen and said to the cook, “This guy out there just ordered three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards. What does he think this place is … an auto parts...

Skunked

It was, and she said to her husband, “It’s nearly frozen to death. Can we take it with us, get it warm, and let it go in the morning?” He says, “O.K., get in the car with it.” “Where shall I put it to get it warm?” she asked....

The Furniture Business

To celebrate the new acquisition, he decided to visit a small bistro and have a glass of wine. As he sat enjoying his wine, he noticed that the small place was quite crowded, and that the one other chair at his table was the only vacant seat in the...

The phony beard…

“Yeah, a costume party,” the man answers, “I’m sup…posed to come dressed as my love life.” “But you look like Abe Lincoln,” protests the bartender. “That’s right. My last four scores were seven years ago.”]]>

Black eye

An officer was sent to her house to investigate, and he returned 1-1/2 hours later with a black eye. “Did you get hit by the same person?” his captain asked. “No,” he replied. “I stepped on the same rake.”]]>