Archive

Archive of : July, 2011

Lawyers playing poker

“I win!” said Johnson, at which point Henderson threw down his cards. “That’s it! I’ve had it! Johnson is cheating!!!” “How can you tell?” Phillips asked.“Those aren’t the cards I dealt him!” ]]>

What’s new?

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SUV

Other guy: “Wow, that’s amazing! Imagine, an SUV! What a great gift!” First guy: “Yup. Socks, Underwear and Viagra!” ]]>

Thumb sucking?

Turned to her friend and said, “And these people used to beat my ass for sucking my thumb.” ]]>

Cougar Chat

The first woman said, “I need to be honest with you, I’m getting a boob-job.” “Oh, that’s nothing,” responded her friend. “I’m thinking of having my arsehole bleached.” “Whoa!” replied the first woman. “I just can’t picture your husband as a blonde.” ]]>

Decisions

The husband responded, “When we were first married we came to an agreement. I would make all the major decisions and my wife would make all the minor decisions. And in 60 years of marriage we have never needed to make a major decision.” ]]>

Rome

“Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It’s crowded and dirty. You’re crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?” “We’re taking Continental,” was the reply. “We got a great rate!” “Continental?” exclaimed the hairdresser. “That’s a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight...

Mother-in-law

“My Mother-In-Law died yesterday!” said the first. “Sorry to hear that,” replied his friend. “How did she die?” “Well. She sat down in the chair, put her feet up, laid back closed her eyes, and that was it.” “Hmmm. Suppose it’s a nice way to go.” “Yeah,” said the...

Anything

“I would do anything to pass this exam,” she said. Leaning closer, she whispered seductively, “I mean, I would do anything.” He looked down at her and said, “You’ll do anything?” “Anything,” she replied again. His voice softened. “Anything,” he repeated. She smiled and again said, “Anything.” His voice...

Professional courtesy

Whispering under her breath, the wife says, “No darling, we can’t do it here, our kid is watching!” Husband replies, “You’re right, lets go to the beach.” After a while they make their way to the beach, they start to make love on an empty beach. All of a...