Archive of : June, 2011

Damned moths

“Quick,” said the woman to the lover,”into the closet,” and she pushed him in the closet, stark naked. The husband, however, became suspicious and after a search of the bedroom discovered the man in the closet. “Who are you?” he asked him. “I’m an inspector from Bugs-B-Gone,” said the...

The pickle slicer

His wife nearly faints, then she blurts out: “Why? You need to go see someone. I’m going to make an appointment with a therapist or someone tomorrow.” The man protests, “No, no. It’s fine. Really. I’m not going to do it.” Everything is fine for a few weeks, but...

Breeding’s everything

“My dear,” said the New York matron snobbishly, “here in the east we think breeding is everything.” “Oh I don’t know.” said the Chicago woman. “Where I come from we think it’s fun, too, but we try to have a few outside interests as well.” ]]>

The lawyers dog

Butcher goes to lawyer’s office and asks, “If a dog running unleashed steals a piece of meat from my store, do I have a right to demand payment for the meat from the dog’s owner?” The lawyer answers, “Absolutely.” “Then you owe me $8.50. Your dog was loose and...

The diploma

Loving Grandfather

Meanwhile, Granddad is working his way around, saying in a controlled voice, “Easy, William, we won’t be long, easy, boy.” Another outburst, and she hears the granddad calmly say, “It’s okay, William, just a couple more minutes and we’ll be out of here. Hang in there, boy.” At the...

Mowing the lawn

Possibly The Best True Drunk-Driving Story Ever

His friends plead with him to let them drive him home. He says ‘NO”, he only lives a mile away. About five blocks from the party, the police pull him over. They check his license and ask him to get out of the car and walk the line. Just...

Water … WATER

“Mom…” “What?” “I’m thirsty. Can you bring me a glass of water?” “No. You had your chance. Lights out.” “Mom…” “WHAT?” “I’m THIRSTY…Can I have a glass of water??” “I told you NO! If you ask again I’ll have to spank you!!” [Five...

Fathers & Sons

He said, “My dad’s way faster than either of yours, he can throw a