Archive

Archive of : October, 2010

Arrival

A small old man looked at the pastor and calmly said, “Well, she’s there!” ]]>

Complaints

After the first seven years, the elders bring him in and ask for his two words. “Cold floors,” he says. They nod and send him away. Seven more years pass. They bring him back in and ask for his two words. He clears his throats and says, “Bad food.”...

Greenies Revenge

In a panic to escape, she slid down the tree, getting a great number of splinters lodged in her crotch area.  In considerable pain she hurried to the nearest doctor, and told him she was an environmentalist and how she got all the splinters. The doctor, who was no...

How To Lose A Wife

Then I found a receipt for $45 for makeup. “Wait a minute!” I said to my wife. “I gave up beer; you haven’t given up anything!” “I buy makeup so I look pretty for you,” she replied. I told her, “Hell, that’s what the beer was for!” … I...

God Grants A Wish

The biker pulled over, thought about it, and said, “Build a bridge to New Zealand so I can ride over anytime I want.” The Lord said: “Your request is materialistic, think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking, the supports required reaching the bottom of the Pacific...

On The Farm

“Not yet,” said the little boy. His mother  tells him no breakfast until he does his chores. Well, he’s a little  ticked off, so he goes to feed the chickens, and he kicks a chicken. He goes to  feed the cows, and he kicks a cow. He goes to...

The Seven-Ten Cap

All the clerks look at each other, and one says, “What’s a seven-ten cap?” She says, “You know, it’s right on the engine. Mine got lost and some how and I need a new one.” “What kind of a car is it on?” the clerk asked. “It’s a Toyota.”...

Greek V’s Irish

Over triple lattes the Greek guy says, ‘Well, we Greeks built the Parthenon,’ arching his eyebrows. The Irishman then replies, ‘Well… it was the Irish that discovered the Summer and Winter Solstices.’ The Greek retorts, ‘We Greeks gave birth to advanced mathematics.’ The Irishman, nodding in agreement, says, ‘Irish...

Grumpy

Seven Dwarfs, they are immediately ushered in to see the Pope. Grumpy leads the pack. “Grumpy, my son,” says the Pope, “What can I do for you?” Grumpy asks,  “Excuse me your Excellency, but are there any Dwarf Nuns in Rome?” The Pope wrinkles  his brow at the odd...

Aussie Humor

The train goes into a dark tunnel and a few seconds later the sound of loud slap. When the train emerges from the tunnel, the Kiwi has a bright red hand print on his cheek. No one speaks. “That Kiwi guy must have groped the blonde in the dark...