Archive

Archive of : August, 2010

Your duck is dead

her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird’s chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, “I’m sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away.” The distressed woman wailed, “Are you sure?” “Yes, I am sure....

Truth will out

IQ Test

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Missing Husband

When asked for his description, she told the officer, “He’s 35 years old, 6 foot 4, weighs 185 pounds, has blue eyes, blond wavy hair, an athletic build, is soft-spoken, and good with children.” Her neighbour protested, “Your husband is short, bald, fat, and mean.” “True, the wife replied,...

Math-o-matics

He called her into his office and said, “You graduated from the University of Mississippi, and I need some help. “If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14 percent, how much would take off?” The secretary thought a moment, then replied, “Everything but my earrings.” You gotta love...

Gotta Love Those Drunk People

The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push. “Not a chance,” says the husband, “it is 3:00 in the morning!” He slams the door and returns to bed. “Who was that?” asked his wife....

WinXP Of Mordor

To my surprise he threw it into my microwave oven and turned it on. Instantly I got very upset, because the CD had become precious to me, but he said: ‘Do not worry, it is unharmed.’ After a few minutes he took the CD out, gave it to me...

Passport Application

She drives all the way into Little Rock to apply for a passport. In the passport office, the government official sees that she is visibly puzzled filling her passport application. The passport official looks over her shoulder and sees the blonde trying to write ‘twice a week’ into the...

Smart Arses!

As yet, the shop wasn’t ready, with only a few shelves set up. One of the men said to the other, “I bet any minute now some pensioner is going to walk by, put his face to the window, and ask what we’re selling.” No sooner were the words...

A Lesson In Business Management

One day, Johnny got so frustrated that he went up to her and said, “I’ll give you $100 if you let me screw you.” But the girl said, “NO”. Johnny said, “Ill be fast. I’ll throw the money on the floor, you bend down, and I’ll be finished by...